I’m in a kind of a writing sinkhole right now. Like, I have no inspiration, at all. I still see many plot bunnies, and I can think of all the awesome stories they would make, and I’ll write a blurb. Then, feeling all inspired by Pinterest’s amazing-ness, I sit down to write on my WIP, and……nothing.
Blank Brain Syndrome is making a comeback. Even with the help of coffee and my trusty writer buddy(my cat) and the aid of my dragons, I can’t write. It probably doesn’t help that I’m stuck in this awful place between plotting and actually writing on Firemaster(I decided to erase all my previous writing–which was around three chapters of absolute suckiness.).
So, yes, that would be why I haven’t been posting much, and why my posts–the few that I’ve actually finished and published–have been filled with unusual irony that I try to hold back most of the time. Well, no more!
It’s time to let it go.
Irony is like a baby. Sometimes you love it, sometimes you can’t stand it and just want to turn away and slam the door.
Anyway, I decided to slave over this post for y’all and managed to get it done, just to let you know the details of my writing life right now.
Firemaster, as I mentioned before, is kind of in a hole. A big, bottomless black hole, suctioning everything I hold dear into it forever and ever–
We’ll stop now.
Kirin(my MC) is just…hard for me to write. He’s a total “hero” type, and I’m….I’m not really. If I were in a story, I’d want to be Jax, the awesome sidekick who’s a ranger, fights with dual blades, and has great comments. That may sound really stereotyped, but I guarantee you, Jax is possibly the most complex character I’ve ever written. I gave him a super sob story, if you must know. Plus, he has to keep his real identity hidden, because the two most powerful races(not counting dragons, who everyone thinks are extinct) on the earth would happily kill or exile him right now.
Jax is like….my relief from writing Kirin. Kirin is fun to write and all, but Jax…Jax is awesome. He’s just really fun. I mean, it’s not everyday that you get to write about SPOILER ALERT a seventeen year old ex-assassin with anxiety issues, END OF SPOILER is it?
Plus, he’s got these awesome black dual swords. I mean, not to toot my own horn (toot toot) but who doesn’t love a ninja sidekick dude? I sure do.
I was actually considering changing the MC to Jax, but then I decided not to. You see, Jax is a great character and all, but he’s almost to(how do I say this)….dark. He’s not pessimistic, really, but he just doesn’t have that ‘good’ impulse that will drive him to make the right decisions instead of what would fulfill his wants in the end. He eventually will realize he’s got to sacrifice his wants for other’s needs, but to get past the first two books in this trilogy, I need someone who always wants to make the right choices, who’s mind hasn’t been tainted by the reality of war and pain.
And that’s Kirin. Hard and even sometimes boring to write though he may be, in the end, he’s the guy you want on your side. He’s the guy with the heart so big it’s on the verge of spilling out of his chest onto everyone around him. He’s just a good guy.
He’s the ‘light’ in the story. The plot is rather dark, and Kirin is the thing that glows in it. He’s the person with determination, love, kindness, and like I said before, a big heart. He a flame. A Firemaster. He’s a wielder of a light in the darkness, a messenger of the King. Few have walked paths darker than what he and Jax have seen, and even fewer have withstood the full darkness of the Darkness and lived to tell the tale. Yet he goes on, into the very blackness that started it all–a war, a famine, a plague, and a separation from the King and his everlasting love.
In the end of all things, when there’s a war being fought between good and evil, Light and Dark, Kirin is the guy you want to fight for you, stand for you, and lead you to the Prince.
(Note: This is an exert I wrote based off a prompt, but like enough to make it a part of my story. It probably won’t appear in the first book though, but more like the second or most likely the third.)
“Do you think we can hold them?”
Kirin smiled grimly. “Jax, the End is coming. The Prince will come, and when He does, it won’t matter if we can hold them or not.” He turned to survey the army marching its way down from the charred mountains of the south. A foul wind came with it, blowing in the smells of death and battle.
“But what makes you so sure He’ll save us?” Jax asked. “Why should He save traitors and rebels? We’ve never done one good thing. He ought to turn us over to Zauuker and leave us to die. We don’t deserve His help.”
“Don’t you understand?” Kirin said. He turned to Jax, and the half-blood saw a sadness in his eyes, weariness, a revealing of the wieght of the people’s unbelief and Kirin’s own heavy burden of doubt. “It doesn’t matter whether we deserve it or not.” Kirin went on. “The Prince gives life to us because He loves all of us, Jax. He loves you. All you have to do is accept it.”
“But why should He love us?” Jax demanded. “We don’t deserve His love! I don’t deserve His love. Why should He pay our price when all we’ve ever done is hate Him and turn away?”
“Because, He first loved us.” Kirin said simply. He watched as Jax grapple with the truth he considered so simple, so easy. What a wonder, that such a simple thing could be so confusing to those who could not, would not understand.
“But….but why?” Jax muttered. “It doesn’t make sense. Look at me! I’ve done more wrong in barely two decades than most have done in eight. I’ve been hunted and hunted men, I’ve killed and wounded and burned, I’ve betrayed and been betrayed, I’ve been a part of the shadows and walked dark paths. Why would He even think to love me?”
Kirin sighed. “He doesn’t care, Jax. All He wants if for you to turn away from your shadows and follow the Light, Jax, follow Him.”