The Evil Author Tag

Hello there, fellow dragons. Yes, I have decided today that we are all dragons, SO DEAL WITH IT. But I call being Toothless. Smaug is pretty sweet to, but Toothless is black, and awesome, (plus he’s actually a dragon, not a wyvern) and he looks like my cat as a dragon. So there.

The reason I have called you all together today is….evilness! Pure, horrible, evil author-ness that make your readers cry and moan in the corner for a month. Epic, right? And today, I get to tell you all about it, thanks to the awesome Claire B. at The Overactive Imagination! You totally need to go check her out, she’s epic.

Now let us begin, my brave dragons!

1. How many characters do you typically kill per book? And how many people have you killed in real life, dear? Do you… feel any remorse about this? I’m concerned about you.

*maniac laugh*


Okay, I’m kidding. I couldn’t kill all my babies. But I do kill a lot.


Probably more than I should. (My friends tell me I’m merciless.) My current WIP is starting to look like Merlin or Game of Thrones.

As for remorse….it depends on the character. Some of them were extremely irritating to write, so when I wrote their death scene I was…morbidly happy. *evil chuckle* But others made me sad so I had to drown my sorrows in chocolate and Netflix.

2. Do you prefer to use weapons of mass destruction like explosions and famine and world war or more personal torture like killing family and friends and pets?

I do have a plague in my WIP, that kills A LOT of people. But I prefer personal torture. It’s got more feelz. Almost all of my character’s parents, friends, and family have died tragic deaths so far. (I know, I’m horrible.)

3. Are you more like Loki, who perpetrates great evil with a creepy grin, or… Darth Vader, who secretly weeps inside his… fake head, whilst destroying the world?

LOKI TO THE END. But the Force would be nice to have as well.  And I don’t destroy the world, because then I would have nothing to rule, would I?

4. What is the most dastardly crime you have ever committed as a writer?

Hmm……probably killing off one of my favorite characters in my WIP. But it was necessary, because she was one of the antagonist’s sister, and another MC’s ‘true love’. So yes, her death was very tragic.

5. What kind of chocolate do you most like to devour as you burn things? White, milk, semisweet, or dark? Bonus points if you are so evil you find unsweetened cacao palatable!

DARK.  As black as my evil author heart….

6. What is your villainous title? You may not have “Evil Overlord” because that one’s mine.

What? Fine, no Evil Overlord. How about…..wait for it…


No? Then….


7. Which of your characters would actually be a match for you if you were to duke it out one on one?

Ha….if we’re talking beating somebody up….probably Jax. He’s quiet, and usually able to avoid trouble if he thinks things through and stays calm and collected(which is hard to do when you’re being chased for your very life).  But he’s also very capable of defending himself if need be, and I have a feeling that is I ever did actually try and fight him, even though I know all his weaknesses and strengths, he would beat me in around 0.03 seconds.

And if we’re talking beating me in wits and sarcasm…I think we’d be pretty even. Jax is like a combo of me, Merlin(from Merlin) and Han Solo, with a touch of Aragorn when he’s being epic.

8. Which character, in all the many books you have undoubtedly written, is most likely to be your Arch-nemesis?

Hmm….If I’m still evil, I have a feeling Shadow the main antagonist for my WIP’s first book(it’s a trilogy, going on a quartet) would be my evil arch-nemesis. He’s snarky, sarcastic, and smart. If we ever met IRL, our conversations would probably include (A) an epic battle of wits and random facts, (B) a violent argument, and (C) quite possibly a large explosion.

9. Do you wear a cape? Face paint? A mask? Special underpants? Or do you hide in plain sight… like Moriarty? Give me details!

A hood and cloak, with a cool metal full-faced mask and awesome tech inside from some cyber-movie. All in black(though I might add the white hand of Sauruman to the mask), with a lightsaber.

10. How do you react when you have to kill off a character that is dear to you? Do you laugh evilly out loud? Do you chuckle under your breath and quickly glance around for your next victim? Do you go and weep in a corner for a month because you just lost a best friend? Or do you just shrug indifferently?

Chuckle. I’m not an easily upset person. (Which is hilarious, because if I watch sad movies I bawl like a baby. But if someone dies….*shrugs*)

11. If you had to choose a fictional villain (from book, movies, etc.) to sum up your villainous style as an evil writer, who would it be? Why?


12. Do you believe in killing off main characters, or are they your smol precious babies whom you cannot even fathom laying a hand (or steel-tipped ax) upon? (#wimpyevilwriter)

I have killed off several main characters in my WIP so far, so no, I’m not afraid of touching them. The ones who survived have only done so through numerous injuries and torture. But my favorite characters, whether main or not….I hate killing them. They’re my precious babies.  Anyone who touches them shall die! *unsheathes claws and breathes fire dramatically*

13. Have you ever chickened out of your evilness and tried to resurrect a fallen character whom you have already brutally murdered? Or do you–as they say–let the sleeping skeleton lie?

Usually when I kill someone, I kill them to make an impact on my other characters. So usually, they stay dead. But I do have *one* that comes back. (He was one of my smol precious babies, okay?)

14. When murdering a character, do you often describe it in cringe-worthy detail, or do you prefer to say “SPLAT! He’s dead”, and be done with it? (Bonus Question: have you ever actually said “SPLAT! He’s dead” in one of your writing projects?)

*evil laughter*

Ha…I do describe it….but not insanely detailed, unless I have to.

As for “SPLAT! He’s dead,” no I haven’t ever written it. I shall have to remember to sneak it in someday….

So there you have it! The Evil Author Tag! If you think this looks as epic as I did, consider yourself tagged!

~Sarah, Supreme Ruler of All Evil and Dragon



My Buck

So….yes, I haven’t posted in ages. I’m sorry. (Don’t worry, this is not a giant apology post.)

I’m not even going to count this technique as a post, since it took me around ten minutes to write, but oh well. I’ll get back in the groove soon, y’all, so just be patient please.

Anyway, the subject of this post! I got a buck this year. Shot him on the last day we went hunting, in the last week of hunting season. Right through the chest and out the back, and the bullet snapped his spine when it came out. Since I can’t see very well(at least not good enough to shoot) in the dark, I had to let my dad shoot him again because I didn’t want to miss and accidentally hit a cow or car, but I did get him! It was dark by the time we found him so I didn’t get a picture of him then, but I did manage to get a pic of his antlers. He’s really wide, and he would have more tines but my dad said he was on the downhill side so he’s only a 4×4.

He doesn’t look that big in the picture, but he’s actually a really nice sized buck. Plus his burger tastes really good.


WordCrafters Chapter 9

Ah, time for WordCrafters. I hope y’all enjoy my chapter, and don’t forget the go check out the rest of it, here>>

When the children awoke, the first thing they noticed were the colors.

Pippin scrunched up his nose in disgust. “Pink? Purple? Where are we?” He tried to stand, but found he couldn’t move. “Um…guys?”

Alalia was the first one to come to, Pippin’s struggles shaking her awake. “Pippin, what is it?” She asked groggily. Then her eyes flew open.

The five children were in a pink and purple room, all tied together in a circle around a large fancy sofa. Which was also pink, coincidentally.  Large oaken doors that must have been fifteen feet high stood ominously on one side of the room, a large table covered in what looked to be….makeup(?) on the other side. The sofa they were tied to was in the middle. Everything was decorated with monkeys. Even the sofa’s print was monkeys, dancing around flowers.

“Um….Pippin…” Alalia said, “Do you have any idea where we are?”

Pippin shook his head, freckles standing out on his pale face. “N-No, Alalia….you?”

She frowned, studying the room again. “I’m not sure….the monkeys, makeup, pink…it doesn’t match anything I’ve read or seen in Fairyland. Maybe Esme or Vivi would know?”

Taking the hint, Pippin glanced around the sofa to see Esme’s dark head. He managed to bump her with his shoulder, while Alalia woke Vivi. Jacob was between the two sleeping girls, out of their reach and sight.

“Esme.” Pippin said.  Trying again, “Esme, if you don’t wake up, I’m going to dye your hair orange.” He knew she hated orange. It was one of the few colors the timid girl absolutely refused to wear.

Thankfully, Esme’s lashes fluttered and her eyes opened, still hazy with sleep. “Pip?” She asked, confused. Her eyes darted around the room frantically, trying to recall what had happened. “Pippin, where are we? What happened? I remember the mountain, and Ariel, and the mist….”

He smiled, trying to assure her, moving as close as he could with his hands tied behind his back to a sofa leg. Not to mention the long rope wrapping over his chest and all the way around the couch, binding them not only to it but flat on their backs against it.

“I don’t know, but Alalia and me were wondering, say, if you recognized anything in this room?”

Esme’s brown eyes opened wider, and she surveyed the room. “Pink….monkeys….dancing…makeup….I don’t really see anything that–” She cut herself off, mouth shaping into an ‘o’. “Wait a minute….makeup….monkeys?”

“Whatcha got, Essy?” Pippin said.

She barely even noticed the nickname. “Pippin…do you remember the makeup palette I showed everyone when we were reading Katri’s journal? The one by Maleficent?”

Pippin nodded, puzzled. “Ya, sure. But what’s that got to do with this?”

Esme ignored him, instead calling out, “Alalia! Vivi! Jacob!”

Alalia, who had woken up Vivi who in turn shook Jacob from the mist-induced slumber, answered back. “Esme?”

“Do you remember how I showed you guys that makeup made by Dark Fairy Cosemetics?”


“You’re closest to that table full of makeup. Can you read the name?”

“I’ll try,” Alalia replied. There was a moment of anxious silence, and then Alalia’s voice came back, shouting, “It’s the same brand, Esme! Dark Fairy!”

Esme nodded absently, lost in thought. “That just leaves the monkeys….the only villain I know of that even vaguely likes monkeys is the Wicked Witch of the West, from the Wizard of Oz.”

Pippin’s eyes widened, and Esme heard a trio of gasps from Alalia, Jacob, and Vivi. She mimicked Pippin’s earlier movement and scooted as far around the corner as she could, catching sight of Jacob’s surprised face.

“Guys, I think I know what captured us. Well, actually, who.”

“Who?” They chorused.

“Maleficent, also known as the Wicked Witch of the West.”

The four children gasped.


Peter Pan led Wendy towards the forest the children had disappeared in, following the same trail they had taken earlier.

“Wendy, we need to help them,” He said, stopping at the beginning of the path.

Wendy came up beside him. “Peter….”

The red-haired man turned to her. “Yes, Wendy?”

She ducked her head, shame showing in her features. “I….I’m sorry for dragging you out here. I should have never gotten mixed up in this Prince Charming mess. I’m so sorry.”

Peter smiled. It was bitter, full of sadness, but genuine. “I’m the one that should be apologizing, Wendy. I took you to Fairyland, and then abandoned you after you returned to the human world. I should have never done that. I should have never left you alone.”

Wendy smiled back. “I will forgive you if you forgive me.”

A trace of Peter’s old boldness and childlike-swagger came back. He grinned broadly, displaying all his teeth and scrunching his eyes shut. “It’s a deal then.”

Wendy smiled back. “Then let’s go save those kids.”


Back in the pink room, the doors slammed open and a black-clad figure strode in, green skin glinting with makeup.

Alalia stiffened. “Maleficent.” She growled.

The witch smirked. “Ah, I see you finally figured it out, didn’t you? Took you long enough.” Her purple-shadowed eyes slanted into angry slits. “You know how long I’ve waited for this?” She snapped. “Hundreds of years. Hundreds.”

Vivi’s short tempter snapped. She struggled against her bonds, twisting around as far as she could to glare in Maleficent–aka, the Wicked Witch of the West’s eyes. “Let us go!” She yelled.

Maleficent’s smirk disappeared, and she walked over to where Vivi was tied. She grabbed her chin and forced her to look up at her. When she spoke, her voice was deceptively soft. “Child, child. Did you really think you would win? Did you really think you could beat me, Maleficent, the Wicked Witch of the West, the master and disguise? Did you really think you would beat the one who designed this whole thing to play into my hands?”

Vivi’s mouth hung slack. The room was silent for a long time, when Jacob, who had sat silent the whole time, finally spoke.

“What do you mean, you designed the whole thing?” He asked nervously.

Maleficent stood, smile curving wickedly on her lips.

“What I mean, child, is that I planned all of this.”

Dun dun dun!!!

What will happen next? *evil laugh* I hope I didn’t make things to complicated for the next writers….if you have any questions, don’t be afraid to ask in the comments, or talk to Allison and she can get a hold of me.